Today was ‘cleaning day at the cottage’ and I applied some basic science to my duties and deduced that Potato Chips are so much greater than Tomato Sauce. If you think about that for a minute you will quickly realize that it is indisputable because for one thing.. Potato Chips are much more edible than tomato Sauce and the main reason that they are greater is that when you drop them all over the place you just have to hoover them up, unlike Tomato Sauce which you have to wipe up with a cleaning cloth, and invisible sky wizard help you if you get it on the carpet! Science is so good! 😉
Today the cottage was the filthiest I have ever seen it. These entities were total slobs. One of them had even sat at the dining table.. and cut it’s toenails! And then you know.. left them on the carpet for the cleaners!!! Ewww!!!
Back to Tomato Sauce though. These entities just splattered it everywhere.. on cupboard doors, on walls, on tables, and there was definately something saucey happening in the MicroWave Oven because it had exploded and splattered sauce all throughout it. Damn!
Here’s a little tip from your friendly neighborhood cleaner.. Putting your f**king tealight candles in every piece of glassware you can find might be romantic but it’s a pain in the arse cleaning the wax out of them all! Anyhoo dear readers, whenever you go on holiday just remember that somebody gets to see what you live like when you leave so just be thoughtful and tidy, it’s like totally not that hard 🙂
Since it is Sunday I would like to know if you all pray out there? If you do then oh boy.. do I have something for you…